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Caŋa 1: Do not stick pencil lead down your pee pee hole. ~~[[File:Yannick Noah 2011.jpg\|thumb\|Yannick Noah 2011]]~~ Yannick Noah na wɩsɩ kɛ [[Agoza fenaɣ\|agoza fenaɣ]] kɩyakʊ 18 wiye kɛ pɩnaɣ 1960 Ardɛnɩ tɛtʊ taa, [[Fransɩɩ]] ɛjaɖɛ taa. Ɛ-tʊma ɖɔɔ: ɛkɛ hendu teyu, pombo maɖʊ nɛ pombo ŋgʊ pamakɩ-kʊ nɛ paabaanaa yɔ kɩ-maɖʊ ɖɔɖɔ. Ɖooo ɛzɩ ɛpaɣzʊ mabʊ teenisi yɔ, ɛnʊ kɛŋna kacalaɣ-tʊ kɛ kɛgbɛyaɣ ŋga paalabɩ-kɛ pɩnaɣ 1983 nɛ payaa-kɛ se Roland-Garros yɔ keɖeeɖe. Mbʊ yebina nɛ halɩ nɛ sɔnɔ e-yeke ɛ-hɩɖɛ sɛɣʊna Fransɩ ɛjaɖɛ tɩŋga taa se ɛmʊ nimiye nɖɩ payaɣ-ɖɩ se Grand Chelem yɔ. Ɛmʊ samtʊ nima wena yɔ, atalɩ ɛzɩ 23 yɔ. Ɛ-yɔɔ yɔ kɛ Fransɩ ɛjaɖɛ pɩzaa nɛ ɖɩkɛna kalalaɣ-tʊ kɛgbɛyɩsɩ ndɩ ndɩ taa, ɛzɩ pɩnzɩ 1991 nɛ 1996. I was curious after showering and saw that my mechanical pencil was on the sink (probably from my pant pocket). Don’t know what made me do it, but I thought it would be a good idea to open it up and stick the pencil lead down my pee pee hole. It went in quite easily and I was about to take it out thinking it was a bad idea, but I couldn’t actually pick up the lead. It was a good 3-4 millimetres down and I was starting to panic. I immediately went to a drawer under the sink and got out a pair of tweezers and began trying to pull it out. ~~[[File:Pause Guitare 2015 ven 0331.jpg\|thumb\|Pause Guitare 2015 ven 0331]]~~ Mbʊ ɖɔɖɔ ɛnɛŋgbɛyɛ nɖɩ payaɣ-ɖɩ se Fransɩɩ de Fed Cup kɛ pɩnaɣ 1997. Ɛwɛ pombo ŋgʊ pamakɩna-kʊ nɛ paabaanaa yɔ pɩ-ŋgbɛyɛ taa ɖooo pɩnaɣ 2005; nɛ payaɣ-ɖɩ se International Tennis Hall of Fame. [[Salaŋ fenaɣ]] taa pɩnaɣ 2015 taa kɛ ɛlɛɣzɩ Arnaud, ɛlɛ ñaakɛna Fransɩ pombo maɖaa nɔɔ yɔɔ tʊ, nɛ kɛgbɛyaɣ ŋga paañɔɔza nɛ payaɣ-kɛ se Coup Davis yɔ, ɛhayɩsɩ camɩyɛ e-koobiya nɛ pɛkɛna kacalaɣ mba pɩnaɣ 2017. [[Saŋayɩŋ fenaɣ]] pɩnaɣ 2016 taa ɖɔɖɔ kɛ ɛlɛɣzɩ Amélie Mauresmo nɛ ɛkɛna ɖɔɖɔ France de Fed Cup nɔɔyɔɔ ɖɛyʊ pʊkɔɔ pɩsɩɩna ɖomaɣ fenaɣ 2018. It was at this point that it started to sting. Oh it stung like fire, relentless waves and waves of throbbing pain struck me as I, on the verge of tears kept trying to get it out. I only pushed it further in with the tweezers. The pain grew more and I was really panicking now. It felt as if there was acid inside. I turned on the sink and tried washing it out but to no avail. At this point I was ready to just have a breakdown. ~~[[File:Yannick Noah (Davis Cup).jpg\|thumb\|Yannick Noah (Davis Cup)]]~~ Ɖooo pɩnaɣ 1991 kɛ ɛpaɣzɩ hendu teu nɛ ɛtɛŋgaɣ ɛ-taa ɖɔɖɔ camɩyɛ nɛ ɛmʊwaɣ kʊjɔŋ ndɩ ndɩ kɛgbɛyɩsɩ sakɩyɛ taa ɖɔɖɔ. Pʊwayɩ yɔ ɛpɩsa Fransɩ pombo maɖaa nɔsɩ yɔɔ ɖɛyaa ndɩ ndɩ. Ɛ-caa kɛ Kameruni ɛjaɖɛ taa pombo maɖʊ sɔsɔ nɔɔyʊ nɛ payaɣ-ɩ se Zacharie Noah. Ɛ-pɛlɔ kɛŋna Joakim Noah, nɛ ɛekɛ Fransɩɩ nɛ ɛlɛ makɩ nesi pombo. Standing there, drenched in water, my manly part on fire as I bit my knee, trying to get a hold of myself. The pain was so bad that I just wanted to cut it all off. I looked around again and saw that there was nothing else that could help me, and I did the only thing I knew how to do. I sat there, and took the single most painful fap I had ever taken in my entire life. When I finally went off, the pencil lead, now broken in 3 and covered with what looked like blood came out with the cum. It looked terrible but almost immediately the pain stopped and I just sat there, a failed man, covered in my own cum and blood, and cried silently for about 5 minutes. Lesson learned: NEVER stick pencil lead down your pee pee hole.

Ñɔɔzɩtʋ hɛkʋ taa tʋkaɣ